Edward's Pregnancy Pains
by Mistress of the Sandbox
Summary: Ed and Winry are having a baby and Winry wants a traditional birthing. How's Ed going to get her to change her mind.


**fandom: full metal alchemist  
genre: romance/humor  
pairing: winry/ed  
rating: k+  
notes: yesh. it's me. i'm famous. i'm back :) i've been away for a months now. it feels so good to finally upload something! but anywho! this was typed a long time ago. and i just wanted to see what you guys think of it. read and review my loves!  
**

"No"

"Winry c'mon!"

"I said no Edward!"

"But think of the kid for cryin' out loud!"

Winry paused and shook her head.

"Ed, the baby will be fine! Home birthing has been a tradition in my family for generations."

"But what if something goes wrong!" Ed let out a yell of frustration.

Suddenly there was silence. Edward wondered if what he said had scared her. He certainly hoped it did. What sane woman would want to give birth in a house away from the wonders of the modern world like morphine, doctors, clean sterile hospitals, and even drugs to take down a baby hippo.

"Are you implying that I would put my child in harm's way?" Winry hissed, looking for all the world like an enraged beach ball in her multicolored summer dress.

"No of course not Winry!" Ed replied. He was just about tired of her random mood swings.

"Then why would you even say that Ed! I would never do this if I wasn't convinced that it was perfectly safe," Winry whined.

Something in her tone made Ed smirk. "Winry dear, have you ever witnessed a home birth?"

Winry's whining ceased and in it's place a scowl began to form. "Well no but I'm pretty sure it can't be that bad if all the women in my family have decided to go this route."

The wheels in Ed's brain began to whirl and he came up with a way to get Winry to change her mind.

"I understand. Well I think that we should go to the Doctor's office and get a tape so that we can get an idea of what we're going to have to get for you and the baby," Ed said slyly.

Winry smiled- finally he was seeing it her way. "Okay Ed. Thanks for supporting this decision," she gushed and peppered kisses all over his face.

"No problem. But since you're only two weeks away we should go to the doctor now and get the video."

Winry nodded and they went to the family doctor.

Ed popped the video right on in as soon as he got Winry comfortable on their periwinkle love seat. He even popped popcorn. He couldn't wait till show time. He felt Winry exhale sharply as the first scene of the movie came on. He rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

"Nervous?" he whispered.

"N-no," she said with false bravado.

The woman's screams of agony soon began to echo throughout the surround sound system in their home. Winry began to look pale.

"Honey, you don't look so good. You want me to turn it off?" Ed asked, a hint of a smirk in his voice.

Winry shook her head furiously. The video showed blankets, comfortable chairs, plenty of gloves, clean tools, and a sturdy midwife. All she had was her grandmother and a tub of hot water. Finally when the midwife stuck her hand up into the birth canal Winry broke.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!" she sputtered.

Ed did so slowly, making sure she watched as the babies head was pulled out first, covered in a shiny, sticky looking coating-

"I SAID TURN IT OFF ED!" she shouted and clunked him over the head with her fist. She wasn't even allowed to lift her wrench anymore-much to Edward's relief.

"Okay! okay!" he said, rubbing the spot where she clobbered him.

"I don't want to do a home birthing anymore Ed," Winry said. She looked a little shaken up but firm about her new decision.

"Really?" Ed smirked fully now. Winry instantly knew what had happened.

"You tricked me,you horrible husband," Winry shreiked and hit him again.

"Ow Winry!Okay! So I did trick you but I only did it because I was concerned about you and the baby!" He swatted her hands away from his head. Winry paused and said,"We would've been fine Ed!"

He grinned,"So you're still not going through with it then?"

Winry crossed her arms and pouted."Yes. To be honest I had no clue what I was in for with this home birthing thing. I just thought I should continue the tradition."

Ed sighed."Winry you have to think of what's going to be best for you. Besides the women in your family probably had no other choice than a home birth. If any of them could choose they would probably have had their kids in a hospital."

Winry nodded and laughed."I'd have to agree. I had no idea it would be that painful."

"So let's get you set up with a room in the hospital then,"Ed grinned. Winry hugged him harder.

"Thanks," she said.

"No problem."


End file.
